Wednesday, September 10, 2014

You are NOT to blame (from Katie)

Hi friends :-) Since it’s my first time blogging here, allow me to introduce myself quickly. I’m Katie. I also blog over at alwayskatie.com, where I talk about the gazillion different interests competing for space in my head – from infertility and in vitro fertilization, to DIY projects, to recipes, to the occasional style post. 

The conditions that “qualify” me as a Chronicittle are PCOS (and infertility), Type 1 Diabetes, Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD. I’ve been a Christian since I was tiny, with varying amounts of success at casting my cares on Him over the years ;-) I’m married to a brilliant and sweet school curriculum specialist, and we have a wonderful firstborn... in the form of a spoiled maltipoo named Charley. We are planning a frozen embryo transfer in about 2 weeks, and praying that it allows us to finally conceive a less-furry sibling for Charley! 

We have been trying for a baby for more than 4 years now, and since our previous IVF cycle ended badly, the frustration and pain have been especially strong lately. I had a less-than-graceful moment on Facebook when I expressed frustration over YET ANOTHER celebrity’s pregnancy announcement, and one of my friends (who is no longer a friend, by the way) jumped on the status with comments of an extremely judgmental and sanctimonious nature. 

I’m sure you’ve heard the type. In the guise of offering support, they question your very faith, and somehow manage to cast some shame or blame on you for not trusting God enough. Sometimes they suggest that if you trusted more, you would no longer be sad or discouraged. Sometimes they go so far as to suggest that the illness that plagues you daily would be healed or improved with more trust. Sometimes they don’t even necessarily talk about faith or God, but question how ill you could really be, or question the treatments you are pursuing. I think this is especially true for us, the Chronicittles, because many people cannot make sense of why someone so young can be so sick. People often want to find a reason WHY, and they are rarely satisfied with the honest answer that... things happen, people get sick, biology is finicky, and bad things exist in this world. 

As I was dealing with the emotional impact of the comments from my Facebook friend, I found comfort in John 9:1-3ish. I think The Message does a great job of really getting the point across here (which is rare for me, I tend to be a NKJV kinda girl).


Friends, here it is, straight from Jesus. You are not to blame. Your diet, environment, mindset, faith are not to blame. Sometimes bad stuff happens just because. BUT! Keep an eye on what God can do. He CAN and I believe WILL use the bad stuff to do something good. We may never understand it, it may not even come to pass in our lifetime, but hang in there, friends. It is not your fault you’re sick. Whatever your treatment or management plan is, you came to it for a reason. Don’t let others who do not live in your body or have intimate knowledge of your faith make YOU question these things. YOU are NOT to BLAME, and it is nobody’s right to make you doubt that.

5 comments:

  1. I found this blog through another blog. I am glad this organization exists and hope it touches many lives. I can't wait for the magazine and I am praying for your successful pregnancy.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment Nadya! We have passed your comment on to Katie! :) Thank you for taking the time to comment!
      :) SEEN Gathering Team

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  2. Thank you so much for your comment Nadya! We have passed your comment on to Katie! :) Thank you for taking the time to comment!
    :) SEEN Gathering Team

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  3. I relate so much to what you say.

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    1. Dear "anonymous" we are so glad that you have stopped by and that Katie's blog post encouraged your heart today! We would love to connect with you more! Thank you for taking the time to comment!
      :) SEEN Gathering Team

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